Trials Part Two

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Season 3: Trials
TrialsPartTwo.png
Trials Part Two
Run Time 32:14
Release Date December 31, 2016
Track Listing
1 0:00 Opening
2 2:27 You Did It
3 4:17 Moon Prison's Most Famous Inmate
4 5:49 Whatever It Takes
5 7:29 HE'S ESCAPED HIS BODY
6 10:21 A Very Scary Statue
7 11:47 No Need For Sleep
8 13:52 New Sheriff
9 16:32 BEATDOWN BREAKDOWN
10 18:34 I Live In A Big Clock Tower
11 20:41 Fuck The Kids
12 23:37 OUR LAST CHANCE
13 24:33 ALPHA-RTD's Parole Hearing
14 28:54 Bang Your Thuddy Drums
15 30:33 Outro
Previous Album:

Trials Part One

Next Album:

Relay Part One

Trials Part Two is the second album of Trials, the third season of The Minute Hour. The album was released at midnight on December 31, 2016, contains 15 segments, and has a run time of 32:14. This album consists of 5 previously released episodes interwoven with 10 new segments that tell an overarching story involving Moon Prison and Real Thuddy Drums.

Overview[edit]

The major theme of Trials Part Two is a tale of Moon Prison and Real Thuddy Drums. Every one of the new segments is part of this story.

"You Did It", "A Very Scary Statue", "New Sheriff", "I Live In A Big Clock Tower", and "Fuck The Kids" are featured in this album, while "Opening", "Moon Prison's Most Famous Inmate", "Whatever It Takes", "HE'S ESCAPED HIS BODY", "No Need For Sleep", "BEATDOWN BREAKDOWN", "OUR LAST CHANCE", "ALPHA-RTD's Parole Hearing", "Bang Your Thuddy Drums", and "Outro" are new segments.

Opening[edit]

A narrator describes Moon Prison, explaining that the walls are made of glass and that the guards are merely an illusion created by subatomabots interacting directly with the inmate's brains. The only character in this segment is the narrator, and the music used is "Scene II. Bed" from Einstein on the Beach by Philip Glass.

Moon Prison's Most Famous Inmate[edit]

A narrator (different from the one in the first segment) reveals that Real Thuddy Drums is an inmate of Moon Prison. He explains that Real Thuddy Drums can't remember any details of his former life except that he has a son, and that he spends his time writing the musical American Odyssey: The True Story of Real Thuddy Drums. The only character in this segment is a narrator, and the music is "Knee Play 01" from Einstein on the Beach by Philip Glass.

Whatever It Takes[edit]

In a scene from American Odyssey: The True Story of Real Thuddy Drums, Real Thuddy Drums captains a ship on a voyage to meet his son for the first time. The characters in this segment are Real Thuddy Drums and his ship's crew, and the music is "Whatever It Takes" by Sam Spence

HE'S ESCAPED HIS BODY[edit]

description

No Need For Sleep[edit]

The narrator from the first segment returns, describing more of the workings of Moon Prison and how the subatomabots alter the prisoner's minds. The only character in this segment is the narrator and the music is once again "Scene II. Bed" from Einstein on the Beach by Philip Glass.

BEATDOWN BREAKDOWN[edit]

description

OUR LAST CHANCE[edit]

description

ALPHA-RTD's Parole Hearing[edit]

description

Bang Your Thuddy Drums[edit]

description

Outro[edit]

This segment consists only of "Knee Play 05" from Einstein on the Beach by Philip Glass

Transcript[edit]

The following transcripts are believed to be complete, but some of them need to be formatted

Opening Transcript[edit]

{music begins}
ANNOUNCER
The only lifeforms in Moon Prison are the inmates.
Each prisoner is surrounded by {echoing in several voices} WALLS OF GLASS.
However, the guards of Moon Prison exist only in the INMATE'S {echoing in several voices} MIND.
A fleet of SUBATOMABOTS swarm the {echoing wildly} MOLECULAR STRUCTURE of the inmate's brain.
From there, it can project {echoing} IMAGES,
{echoing} SOUNDS,
and even THOUGHTS
{echoing} and even THOUGHTS
and even
{multiple voices} THOUGHTS
The SUBATOMABOTS can manipulate muscle and nerve tissue through {several voices echoing} ELECTRICAL STIMULATION.
The inmates need not be fed or watered.
And those with life-sentences may be kept
{several voices echoing wildly} INDEFINITELY.
To see the inside of Moon Prison,
all one needs to do
is IMAGINE {"IMAGINE" is echoed several times by multiple voices, slowing down and falling in pitch}
{music fades in to next segment}

You Did It Transcript[edit]

{music fades in from previous segment}
SINGER:
You did it.
You didn't think that you could do it
but
you
did!
You!
Oh you did it.
Yes you did it.
You did.
You
are committed
'cause you did it
didn't you?
On one hand gotta hand it to you,
cause others will say, but you will do it.
And we're gonna miss you so much.
{sung very quicly} (and we hope you don't regret it)
{sung very quicly} Because you already did it.
You
gotta do
what you wanna do! (Hey!!)
You!
Oh you did it.
{music slows slightly, multiple voices sing in unison, and vocals echo more} Yeah you finished
livin'.
It's true,
there's no limit
or decisions ahead of you.
Now there's nothing left to do.
Nothing to say and nothing new and
{spoken quickly in an increasingly distorted voice}maybe now you'll get acquainted
with the nothing that's around you
AND THE DARKNESS THAT SURROUNDS YOU!
{back to normal singing} You'll,
be with me,
for all eternity!
(HEY!!)
{music starts to slow down further and further} You.
Oh you did it.
Yes you did it,
You did!
You
are committed
'cause you did it
didn't you?
{music slows to a halt on a note, grows louder, and cuts abruptly into next segment}

Moon Prison's Most Famous Inmate Transcript[edit]

{music starts}
ANNOUNCER:
Here in an unmarked cell sits American Music Icon Real Thuddy Drums.
{voices counting in the background}
He writes his memoirs in the form of a stage musical titled "American Odyssey: The True Story of Real Thuddy Drums".
But of course, the true story is far more complicated.
He hides a sinister past.
A forgotten identity.
The only thing he can remember about his former life is the day he found out he was a father.
{counts along with the voices in the background}
Ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome
To "American Odyssey".
{music fades out, replaced by the sound of seagulls and waves breaking}

Whatever It Takes Transcript[edit]

{music begins}
REAL THUDDY DRUMS:
I must go
to meet my baby boy.
He is my pride and joy,
I think!
Onward forward
till we hit the shore.
I've not seen him before,
to think!
My boy, my boy.
I wasn't there to raise him.
What kind of dad did he have?
Where was I? Living a lie and in the past!
I must go
to meet my baby boy!
He is my pride and joy,
I know!
Onward forward
till we hit the shore,
so shoulder up the oars
and row!
Pick up those oars!
Keep moving foreword
and row!
{shouting}Put some elbow grease into it while you're at it!
CREW:
HEAVE!
We're the crew,
HO!
and we help Thuddy Drums!
Help him to sail
HEAVE!
sail cross the sea
HO!
to see his son.
HEAVE!
This isn't what we do,
HEAVE!
but it's not up to us!
HO!
We have no choice
HEAVE!
when we hear that
HO!
voice when he plays his drums!
HEAVE!
REAL THUDDY DRUMS
I MUST GO
TO MEET MY BABY BOY!
CREW:
HEAVE!!
REAL THUDDY DRUMS:
TO MEET MY BABY BOY!
HE IS MY PRIDE AND JOY
I KNOW!
(These Thuddy DRUMS!)
ONWARD FORWARD
TILL WE HIT THE SHORE,
CREW:
HO!!
REAL THUDDY DRUMS:
OR BE FOREVER MORE
ALONE!
{music ends}

HE'S ESCAPED HIS BODY Transcript[edit]

{music begins}
CHARACTER 1:
How is the simulation going?
CHARACTER 2:
Good.
As planned.
Everything's going as planned.
CHARACTER 1:
{in two voices coming from opposite sides} Everything?
CHARACTER 2:
{quietly} His-
His son.
He's... he's...
He's escaped.
CHARACTER 1:
{furiously, from the right side} What?
WHAT?
{from the left side, overlapping the previous line} WHAT?!
HOW COULD THAT HAVE HAPPENED?!
{from the right side, overlapping the previous line} HOW COULD THAT HAVE HAPPENED?!
{from the left side} HOW DID HE BUST OUT?!
{from the right side, increasing in pitch} HOW DID HE BUST OUT?!
{from the left side, very high pitched, slowing down} How did he BUST OUT?!
CHARACTER 2:
He didn't escape the bunker.
CHARACTER 1:
{very low pitched and echoing} WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
CHARACTER 2:
He escaped...
His body.
{echoing, lower pitched} His body.
{echoing, very low pitched} His body.
{back to normal} And honestly, I have... no idea what he's capable of.
He could be listening to us
right
now.
Let's just hope something will...
{slowing} distract him.
{slowing down more and falling in pitch} Something far away from us...
{music picks up and continues for a while before fading out}

A Very Scary Statue Transcript[edit]

{sound of a crowd fades in}
FATHER:
Alright honey, get clo- get closer to the statue. Get- get right in there. You can touch it. Hey that things been up for 50 years I think- I think it can be stand to be touched by little old you, okay?
CHILD:
It's scawy
FATHER:
Heh, alright. Alright, get ready!
Three...
Two...
O...
The sta...
The...
The statue!
Oh my God.
Oh my God!
{sounds of crowd panicking}
FATHER:
The statue's moving!
The statue's... moving!
{screaming} THE STATUE!
THE STATUE IS ALIVE!!!!
{screaming, which is repeated to the beat for the next few lines}
{music begins}
THE VERY SCARY STATUE:
{singing} I HAVE COME TO BURN YOUR TOWN TO THE GROUND.
{speaking} BURN IT DOWN
{singing} IF YOU RUN YOUR BONES WON'T EVEN BE FOUND.
{speaking} I'M NOT KIDDING AROUND.
{singing} PUT YOU IN A TOMB THAT YOU BUILT YOURSELF.
{speaking} YOU DID THIS
{singing} A TOMB YOU THOUGHT SPELLED DOOM FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.
BUT NOW IT'S CLEAR FOR YOU ALL TO SEE {the word "SEE" continues in the background of the next line}
THIS WHOLE TIME YOU'VE BEEN PROVING TO ME {the word "ME" continues in the background of the next line}
YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL THAT YOU'VE DONE {the word "DONE" continues in the background of the next line}
AND I WON'T STOP UNTIL I AM DONE! {the word "DONE" continues in the background of the next line}
IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE YOU DON'T GET A SAY! {the word "PAY" continues in the background of the next line}
YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE NOW YOU HAVE TO PAY!!
{music stops. The crowd continues to panic and scream until the sound of an explosion, after which there is silence}

No Need For Sleep Transcript[edit]

NARRATOR:
The inmates of Moon Prison have no need for sleep.
{music begins}
NARRATOR:
The SUBATOMABOT swarms keep the brain active and alert on The Moon's permanent day cycle.
In the brainstem, {in multiple voices} SUBATOMABOTS {back to normal} use complex electric shock patterns that translate to an organic programming language.
The program will {pause}
{both words spoken at the same time, overlapping each other} REHABILITATE REWRITE
the inmate's mind.
{low pitch} SLOWLY.
{slowing down, lower pitch} ONE
{slower and lower} THOUGHT
{slower and lower} AT A TIME.
{back to normal} During synthetic nights, the glass walls of Moon Prison become reflective.
{loudly and in multiple echoing voices} AND REFLECTION... IS ENCOURAGED.
The SUBATOMABOTS construct rehabilitation scenarios in the inmate's mind by colliding memory,
{echoing the previous line} MEMORY
ego,
{echoing the previous line} EGO
{echoing in multiple voices} AND MUSIC)
{pause}
{multiple voices} BEATS.
{echoing the previous line} beats
{slightly distorted} BEATS.
TUNES.
{multiple voices, one of which is speeding up and rising in pitch} TUNES!
{whispering, echoing in multiple voices} Drums
{echoing in multiple voices} Drums.
{ding}
NARRATOR:
{loudly, echoing in multiple voices} DRUMS!
{long pause}
VOICE 1
Real Thuddy Drums {pause} where are you?
REAL THUDDY DRUMS
Moon Prison.
VOICE 1
Real Thuddy Drums, who are you?
{ding}
VOICE 2:
Dad!
NARRATOR:
{slowly} Now imagine this...
{music fades out}

New Sheriff Transcript[edit]

287 00:13:52,803 --> 00:13:53,683 What is that?

288 00:13:54,523 --> 00:13:55,023 Where?

289 00:13:56,343 --> 00:13:58,163 Right- right there, coming down the road.

290 00:13:59,203 --> 00:13:59,703 Oh.

291 00:14:00,223 --> 00:14:01,183 Uhh...

292 00:14:01,943 --> 00:14:05,043 That looks like a man, in a jumpsuit,

293 00:14:05,723 --> 00:14:07,563 wearing a drumset.

294 00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:11,360 God I hate this place.

295 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,220 (Hey, watch it, buddy!)

296 00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:13,820 Hey, hey, fu- God-

297 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,160 that guy took my wallet! He's-

298 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:15,920 Hey! Hey!

299 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,200 Drum dude! Stop that guy!

300 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:19,840 FREEZE!

301 00:14:20,683 --> 00:14:21,703 Do you think you can-

302 00:14:21,983 --> 00:14:23,383 get away with that?!

303 00:14:23,723 --> 00:14:24,683 NOT HERE!

304 00:14:25,143 --> 00:14:26,783 NOT ANYMORE!

305 00:14:28,123 --> 00:14:30,203 I'm the new sheriff around

306 00:14:31,463 --> 00:14:34,683 and OH, I got me some plans.

307 00:14:35,263 --> 00:14:38,303 I got some opinions on where this town is headed.

308 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,660 But first things first,

309 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,690 I'm takin' out the trash!

310 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:43,300 (Listen, buddy, I don't-)

311 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:43,880 Now I've no patience for the immoral! (Listen, buddy, I don't-)

312 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,780 Now I've no patience for the immoral!

313 00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:49,520 I've got no time for those who do wrong.

314 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,260 And I've got a message for the wicked.

315 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,200 (Just take a step back. Step back! Hey!)

316 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,520 And that message, is the BANG of my DRUMS! (Just take a step back. Step back! Hey!)

317 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,380 And that message, is the BANG of my DRUMS!

318 00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:57,300 (Hey, get away!!) And that message, is the BANG of my DRUMS!

319 00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:57,860 And that message, is the BANG of my DRUMS!

320 00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:58,940 (choking, dying)

321 00:14:58,940 --> 00:14:59,780 He's dead!

322 00:15:00,843 --> 00:15:01,623 Listen now,

323 00:15:01,623 --> 00:15:05,963 We're gonna make this place so great

324 00:15:05,963 --> 00:15:09,263 and everyone will be so happy.

325 00:15:09,263 --> 00:15:13,023 We're gonna make this place so great

326 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,820 and you didn't even have to ask me!

327 00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:21,020 We're gonna make this place so great

328 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:24,420 and everyone will be so happy!

329 00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:28,400 We're gonna make this place so great

330 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,220 AND YOU FUCKERS DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK ME!

331 00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:33,460 Hold it, Sheriff!

332 00:15:33,983 --> 00:15:35,443 You don't know how this works.

333 00:15:35,803 --> 00:15:39,183 I own the land, I lease this town to the people, and I-

334 00:15:39,183 --> 00:15:39,903 Fuck you!

335 00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:42,483 Easy, Sheriff, you have to be civilized!

336 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:43,443 Fuck you fuck you!

337 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,660 Hey! You can't just- do that!

338 00:15:46,483 --> 00:15:47,423 And fuck you!

339 00:15:47,423 --> 00:15:48,843 What the fuck is wrong with you?!

340 00:15:48,843 --> 00:15:50,023 Wait a second, what are you doing?

341 00:15:50,023 --> 00:15:50,603 Hold- don't do that! Stop!

342 00:15:50,603 --> 00:15:51,103 FUCK YOU!!!! Hold- don't do that! Stop!

343 00:15:51,103 --> 00:15:51,643 FUCK YOU!!!!

344 00:15:51,643 --> 00:15:52,183 (choking, dying) FUCK YOU!!!!

345 00:15:52,183 --> 00:15:53,843 (choking, dying)

346 00:15:54,623 --> 00:15:55,583 He's dead too.

347 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,160 I'm gonna make this place so great

348 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,543 (So great) I'm gonna make this place so great

349 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,637 and everyone will be so happy.

350 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,863 (Everyone will be so happy) and everyone will be so happy.

351 00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:07,620 (Everyone will be so happy) I'm gonna make this place so great

352 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:09,020 I'm gonna make this place so great

353 00:16:09,023 --> 00:16:12,603 and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

354 00:16:12,603 --> 00:16:16,563 I'm gonna make this place so great

355 00:16:16,563 --> 00:16:18,877 and everyone will be so happy!

356 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,123 (Everyone will be so happy!) and everyone will be so happy!

357 00:16:20,123 --> 00:16:22,920 (Everyone will be so happy!) I'm gonna make this place SO GREAT

358 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,160 I'm gonna make this place SO GREAT

359 00:16:24,163 --> 00:16:27,883 AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP ME!

BEATDOWN BREAKDOWN Transcript[edit]

360 00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:37,400 [THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU FREAK]

361 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,920 [THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU FREAK]

362 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:44,560 [THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU FREAK]

363 00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:47,300 [THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU]

364 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:48,800 Status report!

365 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,000 We haven't learned anything.

366 00:16:51,820 --> 00:16:53,080 He's constructed a whole

367 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,680 identity for himself that he's hiding behind.

368 00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:57,720 Goddammit!

369 00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,700 What about the boy?

370 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:02,380 He's more powerful than I could've imagined!

371 00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:05,520 He can manipulate matter!

372 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:10,040 He can give consciousness to inanimate objects!

373 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,800 He will DESTROY humanity!

374 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:13,440 SHUT UP!

375 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:14,080

  • Slap*

Agh!

376 00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:16,000 [THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU FREAK]

377 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,060 HOW... [THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU FREAK]

378 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,240 HOW COULD YOU HAVE BEEN [THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU]

379 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:20,060 SO IRRESPONSIBLE?! [THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU]

380 00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,500 SO IRRESPONSIBLE?!

381 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,380 I didn't know!

382 00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:23,720 None of us knew!

383 00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:25,440 HOW COULD YOU BE SO THICK?!

384 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:25,940 There's no way to plan for this! HOW COULD YOU BE SO THICK?!

385 00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:27,200 There's no way to plan for this!

386 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,500 IS THAT YOUR WHOLE RESPONSE TO THIS?!

387 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:30,620 What the fuck do you WANT from me?!

388 00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:31,160 GODDAMMIT WHAT A FUCKING DICK! What the fuck do you WANT from me?!

389 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,100 GODDAMMIT WHAT A FUCKING DICK!

390 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:35,840 YOU MAKE ME SIIIICK!

391 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,040 Fucked me!

392 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,240 You've FUCKED me!

393 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:39,800 YOU'VE FUCKED EVERYBODY!

394 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:40,560 Hey.

395 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,960 And now I'm gonna FUCK YOU. Right, C'MERE!

396 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,540 Hey! Hey, what are you saying? And now I'm gonna FUCK YOU. Right, C'MERE!

397 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:44,400 C'MERE!

398 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,580 Hey, get away from me!

399 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:46,940 Get away from me! C'MERE!!

400 00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:47,700 Get away!

401 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,400 GIMME THAT SWEET ASS!!

402 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,240 COME ON!!

403 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:50,940 YEAAAAAAAH!!

404 00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,000 YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!!

405 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:52,500 COME ON! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!!

406 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:53,000 HEY! COME ON!

407 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,180 You aren't gonna fuck ME, buddy!

408 00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:56,760 I'M GONNA FUCK YOU!!!

409 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,520 UUUURRRRGH AAAAARRRGH

410 00:17:58,520 --> 00:17:59,020 Oh!

411 00:17:59,020 --> 00:17:59,520 URGH!

412 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:00,020 ARGH!

413 00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:00,520 OOHHGH!

414 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,100 ERRRRRGH ARRRRRGH

415 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:02,600 Urgh!

416 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:03,100 UNGH!

417 00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:03,600 ERGH!

418 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,100 OHGH!

419 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:05,340 OOOOUGGGHH!! ERRRRRGGGHH!!

420 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:06,500 OOOH!

421 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:07,500 OOIIEE!

422 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,780 OIEEEEGGGHGHHHHHHEAAAAAARRRRRGH!! ERRRRRRRRGHGGHHHH!!

423 00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:11,060 OIEEEEGGGHGHHHHHHEAAAAAARRRRRGH!!

424 00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:14,940 RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

425 00:18:38,063 --> 00:18:39,643 (Sigh)

I Live In A Big Clock Tower Transcript[edit]

{sound of screaming and explosions}
{music begins}
SINGER:
{singing} I live in a big clock tower,
it floats round from town to town,
with automatic turrets that shoot you down if you get too near.
{singing increasingly angrily} And it's got these rocket boosters
that burn all the children dead.
Yes I know,
{speaking} 'Kay, yes, I know, it's fucked up.
{singing} It's fucked up.
The truth is that
I don't give a fuck!
{speaking} And I never did, okay?
{speaking, with the same lines being sung in the background} So fuck everything that you think!
Fuck your lives and your lies, they all stink!
{singing} I don't even understand the question
and I don't wanna hear you explain!
Oh I forgot something, that's right,
my big robot grabbing arms.
{whirring and clanking sounds}
SINGER:
{singing} They'll pick you up,
{speaking} They'll pick you up, and twist you around!
{singing} and twist you round,
and bring you to the face of my clock!
{clock chime}
CHOSEN ONE:
{speaking} Oh my God! I've been chosen!
The Clock God has picked another mate!
SINGER:
And I'll fire up my rocket boosters,
and I'll boost both our asses to space!
{sound of a rocket launch and screaming}
{music ends}

Fuck The Kids Transcript[edit]

458 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,360 Tonight, a giant floating clock tower.

459 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,640 spells doom for humanity.

460 00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:48,040 But first...

461 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,620 The terrible bus accident.

462 00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:54,120 26 children dead.

463 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,720 The bus driver?

464 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,780 High on pain pills.

465 00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,100 Our exclusive interview with the survivors.

466 00:21:07,003 --> 00:21:09,183 I'll tell ya, that's... Horrible.

467 00:21:09,183 --> 00:21:10,123 That's just-

468 00:21:10,123 --> 00:21:11,683 that's horrible.

469 00:21:12,223 --> 00:21:14,103 I knew, three.

470 00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:15,703 Three!

471 00:21:16,063 --> 00:21:17,383 Separate incidents

472 00:21:17,383 --> 00:21:18,823 of something just like this.

473 00:21:18,823 --> 00:21:19,883 Very similar to this.

474 00:21:19,883 --> 00:21:21,883 And I, you know, at this point, I can't tell...

475 00:21:22,103 --> 00:21:24,423 If it's the driver or the kids!

476 00:21:26,603 --> 00:21:28,780 I mean honestly, I've got two of them and God

477 00:21:28,780 --> 00:21:30,220 DAMMIT they can really

478 00:21:30,220 --> 00:21:31,340 FUCK up your day!

479 00:21:31,340 --> 00:21:32,680 Huh, can't they?

480 00:21:32,863 --> 00:21:34,763 Wow, those little fuckers, huh?

481 00:21:34,763 --> 00:21:35,923 I fuckin' hate 'em!

482 00:21:36,043 --> 00:21:37,403 I fuckin' hate those things!

483 00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:40,283 Jesus fuckin' Christ, you know, they make-

484 00:21:40,283 --> 00:21:41,943 they make you crazy, don't they? Huh?

485 00:21:42,063 --> 00:21:44,163 They make you wanna drive a bus off a fuckin' cliff!

486 00:21:44,363 --> 00:21:46,763 They make you wanna take a fistful of pain pills

487 00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:48,863 because being around kids is pain!

488 00:21:49,583 --> 00:21:51,063 I'm gonna, you know, when I get home,

489 00:21:51,063 --> 00:21:53,103 I'm gonna do something BAD to those little fuckers,

490 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,503 and you can count on that!

491 00:21:54,503 --> 00:21:55,063 If you're wa-

492 00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:56,463 That's right, if you're watching buddy,

493 00:21:56,463 --> 00:21:58,363 YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT, BUDDY!

494 00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,103 YOU CAN COUNT ON THAT!

495 00:22:00,623 --> 00:22:02,863 And I'm gonna have this moment out!

496 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:05,383 Right here, right now, I'm having this out.

497 00:22:05,523 --> 00:22:06,683 I'm talkin' now.

498 00:22:06,683 --> 00:22:08,303 'Cause I wanna say somethin'.

499 00:22:08,603 --> 00:22:10,883 Those two little fuckers.

500 00:22:10,883 --> 00:22:13,503 Those two little fucking fuckers!

501 00:22:13,503 --> 00:22:15,343 My life is ruined!

502 00:22:15,343 --> 00:22:17,923 They fuck up what I'm doin'.

503 00:22:17,923 --> 00:22:20,003 Fuck all the kids we

504 00:22:20,003 --> 00:22:21,663 must fuck all the kids

505 00:22:21,663 --> 00:22:24,537 I tell ya, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM.

506 00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:27,240 I don't give a single goddamn-!

507 00:22:27,503 --> 00:22:28,903 Now I just wanna make sure

508 00:22:28,903 --> 00:22:30,143 that I get this right.

509 00:22:30,503 --> 00:22:32,283 'Cause this is something you can only say

510 00:22:32,283 --> 00:22:33,743 once in your life!

511 00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:37,783 Those little fuckers...

512 00:22:38,063 --> 00:22:40,743 Their days are numbered.

513 00:22:40,743 --> 00:22:44,503 I would kill them myself

514 00:22:44,503 --> 00:22:49,303 if I thought I could get away with it!

515 00:22:49,303 --> 00:22:50,063 (iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!) Fuck, fuck the kids and If I thought I could get away with it!

516 00:22:50,063 --> 00:22:52,863 (iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!) Fuck, fuck the kids and

517 00:22:52,863 --> 00:22:54,923 (iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!) fuck them for good 'cause

518 00:22:54,923 --> 00:22:55,743 fuck them for good 'cause

519 00:22:55,743 --> 00:22:58,043 we don't NEED THEM

520 00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,863 we're leaving!

521 00:23:00,423 --> 00:23:04,423 Leaving them behind with nothing!

522 00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:07,583 We're leaving them, for a beautiful place

523 00:23:07,583 --> 00:23:10,743 where everyone is just fucking each other, all the time

524 00:23:10,743 --> 00:23:11,943 and doing coke

525 00:23:11,943 --> 00:23:13,463 out of our ASSHOLES!

526 00:23:13,663 --> 00:23:14,863 And laughing.

527 00:23:14,863 --> 00:23:17,263 Just laughing, laughing

528 00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:18,603 at how nothing matters...

529 00:23:18,603 --> 00:23:19,283 (NOTHING MATTERS) at- at how nothing matters...

530 00:23:19,283 --> 00:23:20,743 (NOTHING MATTERS)

531 00:23:21,063 --> 00:23:22,083 Fuck the kids.

532 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:27,100 All this time we just wanted to

533 00:23:27,100 --> 00:23:27,600 SAAAAAY

534 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,120 Those kids needs us, and you know what I say to that? SAAAAAY

535 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:30,640 Fuck 'em.

536 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,460 (FUCK 'EM)

537 00:23:31,463 --> 00:23:35,103 Fuck 'em!

OUR LAST CHANCE Transcript[edit]

538 00:23:39,420 --> 00:23:40,540 The situation...

539 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:41,740 (The situation' gotten out of our control)

540 00:23:41,740 --> 00:23:42,600 has gotten out of our control. (The situation' gotten out of our control)

541 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:43,380 has gotten out of our control.

542 00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:46,420 I think this is the end.

543 00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:48,340 For everyone.

544 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,100 He's the only one who can save us.

545 00:23:52,620 --> 00:23:53,120 He's the only one who can help us stop him.

546 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,120 (He's the only one who can stop him) He's the only one who can help us stop him.

547 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,680 He's the only one who can help us stop him.

548 00:23:57,940 --> 00:23:59,920 And he doesn't even remember his own name.

549 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,220 And he doesn't even remember his own name.

550 00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:03,360 But I guess... And he doesn't even remember his own name.

551 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:04,380 Moon Prison does that to people.

552 00:24:04,380 --> 00:24:05,780 (But I guess Moon Prison does that to people) Moon Prison does that to people.

553 00:24:05,780 --> 00:24:06,720 (But I guess Moon Prison does that to people)

554 00:24:06,980 --> 00:24:09,360 I guess Moon Prison does that to people.

555 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,860 This is our last chance.

556 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,600 This is our only chance.

557 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,400 (Our last chance) This is our only chance.

558 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,040 (Our last chance)

559 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,600 Send ALPHA-RED to his parole hearing.

560 00:24:26,340 --> 00:24:28,980 Send ALPHA-RED to his parole hearing.

ALPHA-RTD's Parole Hearing Transcript[edit]

561 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,080 ALPHA-RED.

562 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:49,280 Now.

563 00:24:54,980 --> 00:24:57,620 How do we access his memory banks?

564 00:24:58,240 --> 00:24:59,480 We've gotta press him.

565 00:25:00,220 --> 00:25:01,400 We have to get through to him.

566 00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:05,940 What's the backup plan?

567 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,260 Electric.

568 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:18,500 Prisoner.

569 00:25:20,780 --> 00:25:22,300 Why are you here?

570 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:25,160 I don't know.

571 00:25:25,740 --> 00:25:26,500 I don't know.

572 00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:27,320 My son!

573 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,480 My son, I-

574 00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:30,980 I...

575 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,260 Prisoner, why are you here?

576 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,080 I wasn't there...

577 00:25:37,260 --> 00:25:39,260 I couldn't- I couldn't find him.

578 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:40,680 I don't know.

579 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,720 Prisoner, who is your son?

580 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,580 He's my- he's my boy.

581 00:25:46,580 --> 00:25:47,080 Who is your son?

582 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:47,580 He's- Who is your son?

583 00:25:47,580 --> 00:25:48,080 Who is your son?

584 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,760 Who is your son?

585 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:52,400 He's-

586 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,740 He's everything. He's- he's- he's-

587 00:25:54,740 --> 00:25:55,240 Who is your son? He's everything. He's- he's- he's-

588 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:55,800 Who is your son?

589 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,320 everything there is to love.

590 00:25:58,100 --> 00:25:59,540 He's everything I have.

591 00:25:59,540 --> 00:26:01,440 Prisoner, where is your son?

592 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:02,200 He's everything I have. Prisoner, where is your son?

593 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:02,700 He's everything I have.

594 00:26:03,380 --> 00:26:04,560 Where is your son?

595 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:05,060 He's everything I have. Where is your son?

596 00:26:05,060 --> 00:26:05,700 He's everything I have.

597 00:26:07,460 --> 00:26:08,660 He's all I have.

598 00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:10,260 He's all I have.

599 00:26:10,260 --> 00:26:11,020 Prisoner.

600 00:26:12,620 --> 00:26:13,640 Who are you?

601 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:14,140 I'm-

602 00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:15,580 Who are you?

603 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:16,720 Who are you?

604 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:17,220 I'm Real Thuddy Drums. Who are you?

605 00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:17,980 I'm Real Thuddy Drums.

606 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,000 I'm Real Thuddy Drums.

607 00:26:21,180 --> 00:26:22,460 It's not working.

608 00:26:22,620 --> 00:26:23,180 I'm-

609 00:26:23,260 --> 00:26:23,760 It's not working!

610 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:24,940 I'm Real Thuddy Drums. It's not working!

611 00:26:24,940 --> 00:26:25,720 I'm Real Thuddy Drums.

612 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:26,600 Zap him!

613 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,840 HNNNNGAAAAAAGH

614 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,560 I'M REAL THUDDY DRUMS!

615 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,220 Again!

616 00:26:30,220 --> 00:26:31,700 AUUUUUGHHHHH

617 00:26:31,700 --> 00:26:33,300 Who are you? I'M REAL THUDDY DRUMS!

618 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:33,960 Again!!

619 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:34,540 Who

620 00:26:34,540 --> 00:26:35,200 NGUUUAAAAAHHH

621 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,000 are you? NGUUUAAAAAHHH

622 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,880 I'M REAL THUDDY DRUMS!!

623 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:38,600 More!

624 00:26:38,860 --> 00:26:41,740 I AM AMERICAN MUSIC ICON!!

625 00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:42,300 More!!

626 00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:43,400 REAL THUDDY DRUMS!!

627 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:44,520

  • Ding!*

REAL THUDDY DRUMS!!

628 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:45,180 REAL THUDDY DRUMS!!

629 00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:46,240 Dad!

630 00:26:47,420 --> 00:26:48,400 It's me.

631 00:26:49,020 --> 00:26:50,620 You are ALPHA-RED.

632 00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:52,660 And Moon Prison

633 00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:54,120 exists only

634 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,240 in your MIND.

635 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:01,820 WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

636 00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:02,320 Oh!

637 00:27:02,940 --> 00:27:03,440 No!

638 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,760 WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

639 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:05,640 HE'S ESCAPING THE PROGRAM! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

640 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:06,400 HE'S ESCAPING THE PROGRAM!

641 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:10,180 IT CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!

642 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:11,540 OH MY GOD!

643 00:27:11,540 --> 00:27:14,220 NOOOOOOOO!

644 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,540 NOOOOOOOOO! QUICK, QUICK! GRAB THE HEAD!

645 00:27:16,540 --> 00:27:17,600 NOOOOOOOOO! GRAB THE HEAD!

646 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,160 SHUT HIM OFF!

647 00:27:19,340 --> 00:27:20,520 SHUT HIM OFF!!

648 00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:23,120 FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

649 00:27:23,340 --> 00:27:24,460 ALPHA-RED.

650 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,140 YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE ANYMORE.

651 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,260 What am I supposed to do?!

652 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:31,660 The whole-

653 00:27:31,660 --> 00:27:34,300 The whole prison is falling appart!

654 00:27:34,780 --> 00:27:38,380 THERE IS NO MOON PRISON, ALPHA-RED.

655 00:27:38,620 --> 00:27:39,880 ALPHA-RED.

656 00:27:40,420 --> 00:27:42,100 YOU CAN FLY.

657 00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:43,700 SO FLY!

658 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:45,380 FLY!!

659 00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:47,260 FLY!!!

660 00:27:56,020 --> 00:27:57,480 Fly to the sun.

661 00:27:58,540 --> 00:27:59,920 Fly to the sun.

662 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,800 FLY TO YOUR SON.

663 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,240 It's time to rest.

664 00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:29,140 It's time to join us.

665 00:28:30,740 --> 00:28:32,220 Yes. Yes.

666 00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:33,980 How?

667 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,260 How? What do I have to do?

668 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,220 You have to do one thing,

669 00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,020 and one thing only.

670 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:45,100 Yes!

671 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:46,780 Yes.

672 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:48,760 What is it? Anything.

673 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,520 Give me your Thuddy Drums.

Bang Your Thuddy Drums Transcript[edit]

{music begins}


{singing} Now lay down your drums.
Yes your Thuddy Drums.
Yes now lay down your Real Thuddy Drums.
If you want now to be one of us.
Give your Thuddy Drums to me!
REAL THUDDY DRUMS:
{speaking} My- my Thuddy Drums? Why?
Why do you need my Thuddy Drums?


{singing} Now the time has come
to be gone of them.
And it wasn't you that wanted them.
But I know you must feel part of them.
Give that part of you to me!
(Drums!)
You must lay down your Thuddy
(Drums!)
Drums
(Drums!)
it's time to give your drums to us!
Happiness and all things in place
Free of pain, your slumber awaits
But if you don't give me your Thuddy Drums
Then I guess you'll just have to wait!


{speaking} No!
Don't give up your drums!
You're not just ALPHA-RED!
You're also REAL THUDDY DRUMS!


{singing} BANG YOUR THUDDY DRUMS!
NEVER GIVE THEM UP!
NEVER STOP BANGING YOUR THUDDY DRUMS!
BANG YOUR THUDDIES LIKE NO OTHER DRUMS
BANG THE THUDDY DRUMS FOR YOU ALONE!
BANG YOUR THUDDY DRUMS!
BANG YOUR THUDDY DRUMS!
NEVER STOP BANGING YOUR THUDDY DRUMS!
BANG YOUR THUDDIES LIKE NO OTHER DRUMS
AND BANG YOUR THUDDY DRUMS FOR YOU ALONE!
{music ends}

Outro Transcript[edit]

{music plays, eventually fading out}

Episode Changes[edit]

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Episode 1 Changes[edit]

changes

Episode 2 Changes[edit]

changes

Episode 3 Changes[edit]

changes

Behind the Scenes[edit]

  • List all music used in the album
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Trivia[edit]

  • If this album makes any references to other Minute Hour episodes/albums/characters/topics list them here
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  • If any part of this album needs clarification list that here, but do not use this section for speculation or theories
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Adaptations[edit]

  • "Moon Prison's Most Famous Inmate" and "Whatever It Takes" were featured in an animation by Ben Lunato.

See Also[edit]

Real Thuddy Drums
Moon Prison
Trials Part One

External Links[edit]

Trials Part Two on The Minute Hour website
Trials Part Two on YouTube
Trials Part Two on SoundCloud