Relay Part One

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Season Four: Relay
Relay Part One
Run Time 29:53
Release Date March 26, 2017
Track Listing
1 0:00 That's A Nice Grill
2 4:16 The Minute Hour
3 5:03 Federal Sports Protection Commission
4 8:09 Carman
5 10:31 Steamy Creamy Crazy
6 11:26 Rodey The Long Haired Chef
7 13:58 Club Magic
8 17:04 Yes Mr. Chairman
9 19:22 Two Scoops
10 21:00 It's A Baby Boy
11 23:45 Come Here Kid
Previous Album:

Trials Part Two

Next Album:

Relay Part Two

Relay Part One is the first album of Relay, the fourth season of The Minute Hour. The album was released on March 26, 2017, contains 12 segments, and has a run time of 29:53. This album contains 6 previously released episodes and 6 new segments that tell an overarching story about the Federal Sports Protection Commission.


Relay Part One expands on the story of the Federal Sports Protection Commission, with all but one of the new segments revealing details about the commission and its chairman.

"That's A Nice Grill", "Federal Sports Protection Commission", "Steamy Creamy Crazy", "Rodey The Long Haired Chef", "Club Magic", and "DUNDARIOUS REDRIPULIN" are featured in this album while "The Minute Hour", "Carman", Yes Mr. Chairman", "Two Scoops", "It's A Baby Boy", and "Come Here Kid" are new segments.

The Minute Hour[edit]



In "Carman" the FSPC surgeons turn a man into a car. The music used in this segment is "Chang and Sword" by Cliff Martinez.

Yes Mr. Chairman[edit]


Two Scoops[edit]

"Two Scoops" is a song about Steamy Creamy, somewhat similar to "Steamy Creamy Crazy". The music used in this segment is "Night's Interlude" by Nightmares on Wax.

It's A Baby Boy[edit]


Come Here Kid[edit]



For help on how to format transcripts click here. Separate the transcript into sections to make it easier to navigate (but replace "Segment 1" etc with the name of the segment).

That's A Nice Grill Transcript[edit]


The Minute Hour Transcript[edit]


Federal Sports Protection Commission Transcript[edit]


Carman Transcript[edit]

{music begins}
{whispering} Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports.
{singing} Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports. Sports.
{welding sounds}
{singing} Nurse do you think
we've gone too far,
turning this man
into a car?
When will it end?
How will we know?
He'll never stop
if we don't say no. {"no" repeated several times}
{speaking} Give me his keys.
{the sound of keys jangling}
{the sound of keys being inserted into an ignition, followed by a man's voice making "engine revving" sounds}

Steamy Creamy Crazy Transcript[edit]

{music starts playing}
Uh oh, it's that time...
Do you have a Steamy Creamy craving?
Do you want to fill your belly with cream and steam?
Is the answer yes?
You might be friends with the steampunk cream boy.
He's Steamy Creamy crazy! {multiple voices echo the word "crazy"}
Better get him his Steamy Creamy {a second voice echoes "Better get him his Steamy Creamy"}
Quick now!
Now don't be scared!
{growing increasingly more frantic} But hurry up and do it quickly, he doesn't like to wait!
Hates waiting, hates waiting for it
{harmonizing with the singers} Hates waiting for it
Hates waiting, hates waiting
{speaking frantically} Hurry up now, make it quick and make it fast.
Hates waiting, hates waiting for it
{screaming} You'd better get into it
So make it right now!
two scoops in the bowl and then it's
in the microwave until it steams
and then two creamy scoops on top
and I'll be your best friend!
{music cuts out abruptly after the last line}

Rodey The Long Haired Chef Transcript[edit]


Club Magic Transcript[edit]


Yes Mr. Chairman Transcript[edit]


Two Scoops Transcript[edit]


It's A Baby Boy Transcript[edit]


Come Here Kid Transcript[edit]




Episode Changes[edit]

  • If the episode version of the segment is different from this version list the changes here
  • For minor changes use bullet points
  • For major changes or additions use the transcript format
  • Make a subsection for each segment that has notable changes
  • Hint: rather than writing this section out from scratch, check the episode page and copy what was written there. These sections should include the same information in both places.

That's A Nice Grill Changes[edit]

  • The Grillee undresses before climbing into the grill
  • The chorus of voices that The Griller hears while driving away is slightly different
  • The phrase "You better empty the grease tray" is repeated to the beat of the music

Federal Sports Protection Commission Changes[edit]

  • The Commissioner laughs wildly leading into "Carman"

Steamy Creamy Crazy Changes[edit]

  • Before the first line the announcer says "Uh oh, it's that time..."
  • The music cuts off immediately after the last line rather than continuing for a while.

Behind the Scenes[edit]

  • The entire album was released a day early on Patreon with some minor editing differences
  • Rough cuts of "Carman" and "Come Here Kid" were released on Patreon before the release of the album
  • "Two Scoops" was released on YouTube and Patreon as a teaser before the release of the album


  • That's a Nice Grill: "Welcome Back / Perturbator's Theme" by Perturbator
  • The Minute Hour: "Only God Forgives" by Cliff Martinez (Only God Forgives OST)
  • Federal Sports Protection Commission: "Silent Season of a Hero" by Sam Spence
  • Carman: "Chang and Sword" by Cliff Martinez (Only God Forgives OST)
  • Steamy Creamy Crazy: "Tijuana Trip" by Sam Spence
  • Rodey The Long Haired Chef: N/A
  • Club Magic: "The Paris Whistler" by Sam Spence
  • Yes Mr. Chairman: "The Searcher" by Sam Spence
  • Two Scoops: "Night's Interlude" by Nightmares on Wax
  • It's A Baby Boy: "Quest for a Silver Trophy" by Sam Spence
  • Come Here Kid: "Quest for a Silver Trophy" by Sam Spence
  • DUNDARIOUS REDRIPULIN: "Forgetting" by Philip Glass


  • If this album makes any references to other Minute Hour episodes/albums/characters/topics list them here
  • If this album makes any references to real-world things list them here
  • If any part of this album needs clarification list that here, but do not use this section for speculation or theories
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See Also[edit]

List links to any other wiki article that is relevant to this album, but don't link episodes that are in the album since they should be linked above
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External Links[edit]

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